Worst World Cup, Ever

I'm disappointed by this year's World Cup finals. Truly, did I wait four years for this?

First of all, there's been so much controversy off the pitch, which goes to show that football isn't the main course at this year's finals, especially with France's affair d'etat, which even included the French Prime Minister having a chat with Thierry Henry on the incident (or accident rather).

Well, the on-pitch action hasn't been great either. The average goals per game in this year's World Cup is 2.20. The lowest ever was 2.21 in Italia '90, which goes to show that this may be the most boring World Cup ever.

The World Cup has also lost quite a few of the star players who are the reason for high ticket prices. (Admit it, you've only come to see Ronaldo!) Rooney, Ronaldo, Ribery, Drogba have all been dumped out, not to mention current world champions (FACT) Italy finishing bottom of their group (yes, even behind New Zealand).

Also, take a look at the quater finalists: four out of the eight are from South America. It seems very much like the Copa America this year. I agree, this does show the strength of these South American nations, but come on, it's always much more fun if you spice things up with Japan, or Mexico or heck, even North Korea! Admit it, you love those nuclear missile jokes don't you! For e.g. "Lisbon is going to be wiped off the map thanks to 7 nukes." I'm sure you know what I'm talking about!

Also, take a look at the ball. The Jabulani, otherwise known as the supermarket ball, or quite simply the adidas piece of rubber junk, is sh*t. You can see the fear and lack of confidence players have in the ball, especially when they retrieve it at a fast pace. You can see that they are unable to control it, and that's how so many fluke goals have been scored.

Imagine this scenario: Team A midfielder receives pass from Team A defender but fails to control it and turn at the same time and the ball rolls towards Team B defender. Team B defender hits a long pass first time. Ball bounces over Team A defender and Team B striker collects the ball behind him and scores.

Now cut, copy and replay, and that's what the World Cup looks like.

Yes, you may say something like "therefore, the one who controls the Jabulani wins", but come on, since when was football ever about the ball? It has always been about the skills and teamwork of players.

And lastly, the final nail on the coffin, the vuvuzelas. I think the word vuvuzela should be considered vulgar. It's totally destroyed the atmosphere of the crowd.

It's like if you take an English crowd and a Brazilian crowd, you can truly appreciate and admire the fans' passion. The English will be singing songs like Steve Gerrard to Que Sera, Wayne Rooney to Tom Hank (at least I think that's where the tune comes from) and maybe even Football's Coming Home. The Brazilians would be playing their drums and dancing to the samba rhythm. It's all so beautiful, a spectacle for the eyes, ears and heart... until the vuvuzelas come into play.

No more 'Steve Gerrard Gerrard Gerrard', now its mindless buzzing at 130 decibals per vuvuzela.

There you have it, 3 factions of suckage: off-pitch, on-pitch and stadium atmosphere.

South Africa has 8 games and 11 days left to save it's butt from being officially branded the Worst World Cup Finals of All Time.

Brazil 2014 will definitely do better, it's not too difficult to improve from failure.

Advice of the day: Go into a deep deep sleep, and wake up 4 years from now.