Love Languages

Love languages, what are they?

They're like the way to a person's heart, the path in which one must take in order to win over a certain someone.

There are five main love languages, mainly: Gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, touch and acts of services. Well, I shan't go into these if not people will start asking me how to woo others.

I think this is a very interesting topic. A lot can be learnt from these five traits. For instance, it's possible to see what a person looks for in a partner from his or her love language. Example, let's say someone's (disclaimer: any resemblence to anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental) love language is gifts. Therefore, I have deduced that this person looks for a partner who is thoughtful, has good taste, and filthy rich. (Okay, maybe not filthy...)

One may start thinking exploiting a person's love language is a sure-way to winning a heart, but I doubt so. God would not have made man and woman to be so easily won over since He holds marriage in the highest order. He would have made it not so easy for man and woman to fall in love with each other and get married, so that a person will not be so 'in love' with the first partner he or she has had, which results in the person finding the best possible partner for marriage.

The book I Kissed Dating Goodbye uses a cake as an analogy of a relationship. Making a cake is just like building a relationship, the main body (Philos and Agape love) is required to be set in place first, with the icing (feelings, Eros love) giving the cake (relationship) a bit more spice. And I think this analogy is very true. Often nowadays, we see many couples just having the icing. Remember, too much sugar and you vomit (and get pimples, acne problems, diabetes, hypertension...).

Which leads me to my point, where I feel love languages are just an ingredient in the icing. I've felt my love language being exploited before, and I fell in, but once I wasn't 'attacked' via my weakness, I climbed out.

Love languages are just to make the icing even more sweeter, even after the feelings you get when you see Mr or Miss so-and-so. Therefore, having only the cherry on the icing is insufficient, you need the main body of the cake, plus the icing and the cherry on top.

Thus, it may seem love is nature rather than nurture. However, that's if you don't put the main body in the focus. The main body comes from nurturing, getting to know the person better and appreciating his or her qualities, as well as overcoming his or her bad habits.

Advice of the day: Love is nature plus nurture.